Your Child's 12-Year Checkup

Checkups are a way to make sure your child is growing well and help you find out if there are any health problems. Return in 1 year for your child's 13-year checkup.

• Help your child learn healthy diet choices:

  • Eat together as a family as often as possible.

  • Offer a well-balanced diet that includes lean protein (like chicken and fish), whole grains, fruits and vegetables, and low-fat dairy.

  • Give your child about 3 dairy servings a day. This can include low-fat or nonfat milk, fortified soy milk, and low-fat cheese and yogurt. Non-dairy sources of calcium include fortified juice, cereal, and bread; dark leafy greens; and tofu (calcium-set).

  • If your child drinks juice, limit it to no more than 8 ounces (240 ml) of 100% juice a day.

  • Read food labels together to limit foods that are high in fat (such as fatty meat and fried foods), added sugar (soda, sports drinks, etc.), and salt (such as fast food).

  • Do not give your child energy drinks. They can contain lots of caffeine or other caffeine-like stimulants and may be harmful to your child's health.

• Encourage your child to get at least 1 hour of physical activity every day. Swimming, basketball, and riding a bike are great ways for kids this age to stay active.

• Help your child make a plan for media use (including smartphones, tablets, computers, video games, and TV). The plan should:

  • Balance screen use with healthy behaviors like spending time with others, being physically active, and getting 9–12 hours of sleep each night.

  • Make the bedroom a media-free room.

  • Make mealtimes media-free.

• Talk to your child about the dangers of smoking (including e-cigarettes), using drugs, and drinking alcohol.

• Talk about relationships and sex. Encourage your child to wait until they're older for sexual activity. Explain the risks of sexually transmitted infections or STIs (also called sexually transmitted diseases or STDs) and unwanted pregnancy. Be open to questions about sexuality and gender identity.

• Set a good example by making your own healthy behavior choices.

• Stay involved with your child's school. If you're worried about issues with learning or problems with other kids, talk to your child and the teachers to find out how to help.

• Help your child develop a system to organize assignments and homework.

• Talk about ways that your child can start to take more responsibility for homework, such as working independently unless help is needed.

• Encourage your child to read.

• Encourage your child to try new activities such as music, theater, sports, and after-school clubs.

• Talk about the normal changes that happen during puberty, such as oily skin, body odor, and hair growth in the armpits and pubic area. Girls and boys have other changes too:

  • In girls, puberty usually starts with breast development and then the growth of pubic hair. Menstruation (periods) usually follows about 2 years after breast development begins. Most girls get their first period when they're 12 or 13 years old; others get it as early as age 9 or as late as age 16. Talk to your daughter about menstruation before she gets her first period.

  • In boys, testicular enlargement is usually the first sign of puberty. The penis gets longer and pubic hair begins to grow. The voice may begin to deepen and crack. Reassure your son that wet dreams (ejaculation during sleep) are normal.

• Discuss the need for regular bathing. Some kids may need to start wearing deodorant.

• It's normal for kids this age to become more interested in friends than family. They also may want more privacy and independence. Give some space to grow but stay connected.

• Show interest in your child's activities and ideas, share time together, and show affection.

• Set reasonable rules and expectations. Use appropriate consequences for breaking rules. Talk about which rules can be changed as your child grows and which rules cannot.

• Talk about ways to deal with anger and fear without using violence.

• Talk to your health care provider if you're worried that your child is depressed. Signs include sadness, changes in school performance, loss of interest in activities, and talk of suicide.

• Your child should continue to ride in the back seat of a car and always wear a seatbelt. Use a booster seat until your child is 4 feet 9 inches (145 cm) tall.

• Be sure your child only uses the Internet where you can easily watch. Put safety filters on computers and check which websites your child visits. Teach your child what kinds of searches, texts, pictures, and posts are appropriate and safe.

• Teach your child that a cyberbully is someone who threatens or says mean things about another person through instant messaging, email, social media, texts, or websites. If your child is the victim of cyberbullying:

  • Save all information that the bully sends and posts.

  • Talk to the parents of the child who is doing the bullying, if possible.

  • Ask your child's school for help.

  • Call the police if the threats are serious or your child seems to be in danger.

• Get to know your child's friends and their parents. Know where your child is and what they're doing.

• Teach your child how to get help if they feel unsafe.

• Remove or lock up alcohol and medicines (prescription and nonprescription).

• Do not let your child ride all-terrain vehicles (ATVs) such as mini-bikes, 3-wheelers, or quads.

• Use proper sports safety equipment, including helmets, mouth and eye guards, and padding.

• A gun in the home increases the risk of accidents and injuries. If you do have a gun, keep it unloaded and locked up. Bullets should be locked separately from the gun.

• Do not allow anyone to smoke around your child.

• Make sure your child brushes their teeth with fluoride toothpaste twice daily, flosses once a day, and sees a dentist every 6 months.

• In the sun, protect your child's skin with a water-resistant sunscreen with an SPF of at least 30, and re-apply every 2 hours or more often if swimming or sweating.

• Follow your health care provider's instructions on immunizations (shots) and testing.

• Your health care provider can tell you about help that is available in the community or through a social worker. Talk to your health care provider if you're worried that:

  • You don't have enough food for your child.

  • You don't have a safe place to live.

  • You don't have health insurance.

  • You have a problem with drugs or alcohol.

• Call your health care provider if you have concerns about your child's health, growth, or development.